Maddog's Ramblings!

what a rollercoaster week...

2008-08-10T13:05:00.002+08:00

I think the last 2 weeks I've just been through were the hardest ones emotionally I've ever been through. Even the week before my wedding wasn't as hard as what I've just gone through.

I managed to make myself very ill with all the emotions I was having, and am on antibiotics for a throat infection, a particularly nasty one which gave me an abcess at the back of my throat, making swallowing almost impossible. My blood pressure dived, dizziness hit, chills, cold sweats, you name it. Real mess.
I guess just all the stress and emotions finally took their toll on me. I think my last post was around the beginning of it all, and it shows! What a rant! I'm not sure I wanna delete it or not, as it represents part of what I went through, and although it might seem slightly masochistic to keep it, it's no doubt a good reminder of how weird your mind can get when you're sick!
Just bizarre shit your mind can focus on and blame and all the venomous crap it can come up with... apologies to all my Chinese friends out there... just don't sing karaoke near me yeah?

I'm on the mend now, and feeling a lot more positive about my journey into the unknown. I have pretty much 'let go' of the fear of my kids missing me and me missing them and Diana. I have a more happy, positive and clear image about myself, my situation and how the kids will be without me around for a little while.

I think this is the last time I ever want to go through this again. I'm all for adventure, but next time the kids will be older etc so not as many concerns and worries about them.

Perth and the Olympics...

2008-08-01T17:51:00.004+08:00

I leave for Perth in 13 days. I will be there by myself for up to 2 months before the kids and Dee arrive, and to be honest, I'm not looking forward much to being alone again! I thought I'd be really looking forward to full nights of sleep, only looking after myself, eating when I want, watching what I want etc... the typical bachelor lifestyle.
But all I can think about is how much I'm gonna miss my kids and Dee. I suppose that shouldn't be a surprise, but for any of you that know me, I've always been keen for some 'me' time, and now I'm getting as much as I can handle, I don't really want it!
As Oscar Wilde said, 'there are 2 tragedies in life - one is not getting what you want; the other is getting it'. He was so right.

Still, if I get work fast, which I'm sure I will, then I'll have plenty to keep me busy. It's just night time when you notice the quiet!

As for the bloody Olympics, I for one won't be watching a minute. I am sick of China this, China that, China in my bloody face. They shouldn't have been given the games and I don't give a hoot how much money they have or how much face they think they deserve. You have to EARN respect, not demand it.

Am I the only one who is finding it difficult to deal with the Chinese? I mean, here's a culture which is extremely phobic about making an arse of itself and drawing negative attention to itself, but they all sing KARAOKE like no-one's around???????? They're the noisiest buggers around, can't take a joke and are quite happy to tell you you're fat, but GOD forbid if you say they need to reciprocate with a bit of decorum themselves! You'll be vilified for 'offending' the EASILY OFFENSIBLE Chinese.

There are days when they don't seem so bad, and that's most definitely down to my thinking more than anything. I was brought up to believe that Chinese were respectful, quiet (!?!?!?) and conservative. The last one is for sure! But they ARE getting better, albeit the younger generation finally giving the older one the heave-ho for good. But as Prince Charles famously put it, during the 'Great Chinese Take-Away' of 1997, the leaders of China are just a bunch of 'boring old waxworks who clap at the appropriate moment'. Not a single one of them would have an individual thought or opinion.

Anyway, that's enough ranting about them, so I intend to focus on things I like and want, not the other way around. And please, Westerners, stop selling them everything we value just because they have some fucking money! Do what's right, not what's easy. Go to school, learn to spell and write, and stop selling yourselves to the highest bidder! Do you honestly think the Chinese would???

sigh. That feels better. Beer anyone?

The Secret of Life

2008-05-29T00:09:00.002+08:00

Just read 'The Secret'. The Law of Attraction works. Absolutely.

Whatever you focus your attention and energy on, good or bad, is what you will get.

Ask yourself constantly, 'is this what I REALLY want?' If what you're thinking about is something you don't want, shift your focus to what you DO want. Allow it to happen. Believe it WILL happen and don't worry about HOW it happens.

Practice this always. You will change your life because you are now in control of creating your world. You are now responsible for your life. Whatever bad is happening in your life right now is because you asked it to happen. You focussed on it enough and believed in it enough for it to happen.

Focus on what you want and you will get it.

Simple. Powerful. Empowering.

um, that was a while...

2008-05-28T23:08:00.002+08:00

Howdy everyone,

That was a bit of a wee break from the last post eh? A bit has happened since then... finally had a new baby, a girl, my dear little Keira Nadine Winn. Born May 11th at 1.46am and 3.1kg's.

I've also finally made plans to leave Sitiawan. I'm off to Perth, Australia on July 10th, just after my birthday, to work in the Oil and Gas industry as a procurement officer. Either Oil and Gas or mining. Both offer excellent pay and work, and both will have me! Can't wait.

Only thing is, I am going by myself to begin with. I need to go first to get work sorted out, find a place to live and a car etc before Dee and my 3 kids come down. That will hopefully be around September/October, or at worst, November/December... all depends on everything working out - which it will.

I'm quite anxious about leaving my family, about being alone down there, but so long as work pans out quickly, I'll keep myself occupied. I intend on joining a flying club there, to get back into my flying, I also want to get back into rockclimbing - a sport I used to do back in NZ. I am looking forward to finding somewhere nice to settle down, to grow some roots etc and making some good friends.

I'll be earning some excellent money, so will be able to visit my mate Hamish in London soon, after putting some money away for the important things!

more later... but I'll keep this up more regularly, especially for my beautiful woman to read my thoughts etc...

Lots to blog about...

2007-11-10T13:16:00.001+08:00

I've got lots to blog about this time.

1. My daughter reached an important milestone (or kilometrestone for us metric users out there!) this week - she asked me to buy her a pony. I almost laughed out loud, but managed to hold it in and with a straight face asked 'where would you put it sweetie?' Sigh, what a moment to reach. Just like in the movies.

2. Our new baby is set to be a boy. I'm stoked, now I've got two sons, and the future of the Winn name looks bright! I'm absolutely delighted to be given another son, but you know, in all honesty, with one each it didn't matter so long as the baby is healthy and ambitious, wants to be a pilot, good looking, tall, and supports the All Blacks (even if they lose, which they do occasionally because I am told they are humans afterall, and not gods like we're led to believe...). Not too much to ask is it?

3. I've been obscenely busy at work, with the end of year crap to sort out. Exams are approaching faster than you want them to, and I've got nasty little students who haven't paid their fees yet so I'm doing the students accounts and sending out little reminders.

4. I've discovered some long lost pals in the form of newly designed piston-single general aviation beauties. I want to buy either a Diamond DA50 or a Cirrus SR22 turbo. Problem is, I don't have the cash, and most of these beauties are in the States. NZ flight schools are too small and poor to have any of these babies, so to get in touch with one I might need to move to Aussie... anyway, here are some photos of these puppies...

My passions

2007-10-30T16:50:00.000+08:00

1. First and foremost, FLYING. I was born to fly. I got my Private Pilot Licence at 21 years old, and have always been a pilot in my mind. I'll fly until I die.

2. Design. Strange I know after flying, but one uses the right side of the brain, the other the left. Balance people, balance.

3. Motorbikes. Jeez, am I a boy or what? I particularly like the Harley Vrod, the Ducati 996, vespa's and really anything that looks good and is reliable.

more later...

Right now I'm struggling... any help?

2007-10-24T13:48:00.000+08:00

Today is a weird day. Normally, when I get photo's from home, I'm happy and like to see what's up etc. But today, it's just depressed me no end.

I saw some photo's of friends of ours who have kids the same age as Kaitlyn and Caleb. They used to live here in Sitiawan with us, but have since been sent back to NZ (he's in the Navy). The photo's consisted of them having their Labour weekend break with the kids and what they got up to. Kids playing with sheep, and their eldest, Mathilda, heading off to school (or kindy, not sure, didn't say...). Lovely photos, but made me intensely depressed. That should be me and my kids. That's how I imagined me being a father would be, and what I would be doing with my kids. But I'm here, in Sitiawan Malaysia... and I'm not doing those things.

So what can I do to make myself feel better? There's lots of things to do, but you know, I feel low and I don't want that to end right now. I think it gives me a push to work to get out of here.

There are so many places and things I want to do in life, and I can say this without feeling bad - living in Sitiawan, Malaysia, doesn't help any of those things come true. I don't earn enough money, and it's Malaysian Ringgit. Which translates into nothing overseas. There is no growth here anymore, and right now even NZ doesn't feel all that appealing. It's having major problems with interest rates, low wages, high taxes and unaffordable housing. So how the hell am I supposed to go home and live the better lifestyle I want to???

I'm looking at trying to work in the US. A huge economy, and plenty to go around. NZ just seems too small right now, and too caught up with the rugby - for God's sake, fix the real problems!

Sigh. Just feeling low.

design design

2007-10-16T15:18:00.000+08:00

I've always been a culture vulture - but I'm turning a love into a career. Gimme some love.

These lovely and clearly out-of-my-league beauties are my favourite pieces of design. Names like Le Corbusier, Panton, Mies Van de Rohe, Eero Saarinen and Eames are the pinnacles of 20th century design.

Nothing like a bit of design to make life more interesting. As 'He' once said, 'life is too short for bad design', and 'god is in the details'.

Better than some of the copied, cookie-cutter crap out there which by the way, is all I can afford now with 3 kids. IKEA, here I come. Shite.

Morning sickness, mourning sickness

2007-10-14T12:21:00.000+08:00

Dee's really suffering this time round. She just can't eat much, and what she does eat, leaves a bad taste in her mouth which induces nausea... poor thing. I feel for her. Good to be a bloke I tell you!

England just beat France in the semi-final of the Rugby World Cup, and nothing could be worse for the game. England are just boring at rugby, and I couldn't give a hoot about 'ugly, results based rugby'. It's supposed to be a flowing game, with lots of running, passing and speed. Tries make the game fun to watch, and there's no better team that kills that than the English. I hope to hell they get beaten in the final.

It really does seem now that the World Cup is separate from the normal goings on in the world of rugby. I'm over our loss last week, and am looking forward to next year's matches, but the 'Cup' just seems so detached from what countries normally play like, that it's in danger of becoming sidelined - it simply doesn't reflect the rankings of the IRB. If England, world ranked number 8, can get into the final, and the top 3 teams in the world are out, there is something wrong somewhere. An upset here and there is good, and last weekend we all saw that, but England in the final???? Who would have seen that coming??? I bet there have been millions of dollars lost on bets, and no-one is gonna be betting on the next one the way this one's gone.

All that sponsorship money is looking decidedly shaky. Who, if you were a major sporting brand, would you sponsor??? If your team are the world champs, then you can ask your price. But to have the number 1 branded sports team in rugby (number 4 sport internationally - excluding the dear ol' USA sports) out, and the next 2 also out, then who do you sponsor?

Last week it looked good for rugby. This week it looks bad.

Hope my dear wife's morning sickness clears up soon. It sucks even more than an England win.

need some more funny

2007-10-11T13:49:00.000+08:00

this is good!

'The Man Song'

pretty much sums it up yeah?

I like to sing like a SUPERSTAR!

2007-10-11T13:45:00.000+08:00

Found this lost in my inbox somewhere... needs to go public.

Sing it out loud:

Indian version of Bohemian Rhapsody

Naan, just killed a man
poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle now he's dead.
Naan, dinner's just begun
But now I'm gonna throw it all away.
Naan, ooh, ooh Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back from the loo by this time tomorrow
Curry on, curry on
Cause nothing really Madras .
Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers down my spine
Bottom aching all the time
Goodbye onion bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.
Naan, ooh, ooh
This dopiaza is so mild
I sometimes wish we'd never come here at all.

[guitar solo]

I see a little chicken tikka on the side
Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh, pass the chutney made of mango
Vindaloo does nicely Very very spicy
Meat!
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani (Byriani)
Byriani and a naan
(A vindaloo loo loo loo)
I've eaten balti, somebody help me
He's eaten balti, get him to the lavatory
Stand you well back
'Case the loo is quarantined...
Here it comes
There it goes
Technicolor yawn
I chunder
No!
It's coming up again
(There he goes)
I chunder, it's coming back again
(There he goes)
Coming back again
(up again)
Here it comes again.
(No no no no no no NO)
On my knees, I'm on my knees
On his knees, Oh, there he goes
This vindaloo
Is about to wreck my guts
Poor meee.. poor meeee...poor MEEEEEE!

[guitar solo]

So you think you can chunder and then feel alright?
So you try to eat curry and drink beer all night?
Oh maybe, but now you'll puke like a baby
Just had to come out
It just had to come right out in here.

[guitar solo]

[slow bit]
Korma or dopiaza
bhaji, naan or saag
Nothing makes a difference
Nothing makes a difference
To meee....
(Any way the wind blows....shshshsh)

LOVIN' IT!

Good on France

2007-10-10T13:59:00.000+08:00

Well done France. You played an amazing game with passion and did the unthinkable (and in nz, the unforgivable!), you beat the All Blacks after 7 straight whippings. And in a World Cup quarterfinal too. I am blown away.

The game of rugby is better off for the result. If the game, and the World Cup, had followed the script, it would have been nice for us kiwi's, but boring for everyone else. France and England did the game a service by beating the top 2 favourites for the tournament on a monumental weekend of rugby.

It's not easy being a Kiwi right now, because so much of our national identity is tied up with the AB's, but you know, the more we lose these important games, the more we are forced to find other ways to identify ourselves internationally. And that is crucial for a country to mature (and it's people I might add...).

I have been down the last few days, and I think that's ok. And it's important to get the feelings off the chest. But I've heard of people giving death threats to the ref, and that's just not on. It guts you no end to lose, but shit, at the end of the day, there are more things to worry about, and more importantly, more things to look forward to.

I feel for the boys in the team. They put 4 long, hard years into preparing for that tournament, and got the worst result for an All Blacks team yet in it. They are gutted. They were ashamed to come home! But it's amazing what a few days of mourning will do. Once you get out of your own head, you can begin to think of others. I was really ashamed to be a Kiwi to begin with, but now I realise that there is much more to being a New Zealander than just the rugby.

Although it holds an important place inside, it's not all I am. And that's what we need to remember. Every country feels loss and hurt through different sports, but they keep on going. And so will we.

Good on ya France, you buggers!

Me thinks I have rugby on the brain

2007-09-07T10:47:00.000+08:00

Well, as anyone who's read either my blog or my wife's blog will know, the Rugby World Cup starts this weekend... it's been 4 long years of waiting, living with George 'little Shit' Gregan's famous sledge '4 more years boys, 4 more years'.

We're favourites again, and I think no one on earth knows better than Kiwi's just how little that matters at the World Cup. I think NZ has been the favourite to win the thing at just about every occasion, but we've only won it once. 1987. 20 years ago. It's been a long time between drinks...

No one I know is predicting an easy tournament, and you'd be daft to. Australia's forte is upsetting everyone's plans just when it hurts most, and the South Africans are in form at last. France (the hosts) will have the home-team advantage, but have been so-so lately, but never discount them. England will find this World Cup a big stretch, they're just not up to par at the moment.

But one thing the World Cup does, more than any other tournament, is bring the best out of a team. And it seems the All Blacks matches are the ones everyone brings their 'A' game to. I guess that's a sign of respect, but it sure has broken our hearts many times too. The 'knockout' stages sure have an apt name.

I am predicting the All Blacks to get to the final, but who they meet is purely a guess. I would say South Africa, a rematch of the 1995 final, and the final score to be 35-12 to the AB's.

But the AB's will get a fright in the semi-final against Australia. But unlike 2003, we'll come out on top. Then it'll be just a case of someone saying to George 'little shit' Gregan, 'All over mate, all over'!

I am personally just downright gratified that Astro is showing the tournament at all! I mean, there must be some soccer games they've had to not show to put it on, and that would have been tough for them! In a soccer mad (but really they're useless at playing it for real) country, I've been rugby starved for the last year, so no one, and I mean no one, can have a go at me for getting a little giddy with this tournament!

As for the Haka (which my beautiful wife continually misspells), I get the chills just watching it. It's a tradition, it's awesome and it's ours. 4 million NZers on earth, and we're NO. 1.

5 more days till Rugby World Cup!!!

2007-09-03T11:55:00.000+08:00

Maddog is getting so excited that he can't stop grinning, thinking about it! Hm.. what's the deal with Men and their sports??? He is even thinking of starting a meditation groups to meditate on the 50 - 0 hiding over the French!

I remember my parents in law warning me, this was when we first started going out, they told me, if All Black loses the title, 'LEAVE HIM ALONE FOR A FEW HOURS, OR EVEN DAYS!' hmm...

~Chiwi~

trucks

2007-05-19T10:29:00.000+08:00

So in the Star newspaper today, I see that another Brit is travelling around the world in an unusual way. They have a tendency to do that. But what made me read it was the caption about how NZ trukkies were the worst he had seen in the world. I couldn't agree more, much as it pains me.
I think truck drivers the world over have an overly aggressive attitude, otherwise who would wanna drive such a lumbering and inconvenient piece of shit such as a truck?
Either that, or it's a case of 'small-penis-syndrome' and trying to be the biggest guy around.

Regardless of ALL the regulations and enforcement of trucks in NZ, it still baffles me how they can be seen as the worst - albeit just one guy's opinion. I mean, I live in Malaysia, and trust me, the trucks here make the kiwi one's look good. But still, I don't compare NZ to Malaysia when it comes to road stats...

I was in NZ during Feb (as if you didn't know), and did some driving around. I encountered many trucks, but to me, they were as well behaved as you could imagine. But I have to say, that was more my view in relation to my experiences of Malaysian trucks.

Regardless, something needs to be done to limit the trucks on NZ roads, indeed everywhere. If someone out there has a good idea for something which will replace trucks, then lets hear it.

sickness and light

2007-05-18T15:43:00.000+08:00

crap... I'm sick. That one where your body gets all tender, and your joints hate to move. It started last night at about 8pm, at the start of one of my classes. I think I must have looked like quasimodo in the corner, cos I hardly said a word all night. Thank god that they had some writing and revision to do! I doubt I could have told the difference between any of the grammar tenses, subtle nuances etc...

Today, I've been spending the day outside, cos I feel nice and warm! It's times like this that I'm glad I'm not in NZ... bloody cold!

I think it began because yesterday I was a painter. I mean, I was painting the house, the school and myself. I picked my nose today (as you do) and pulled out some paint and chips from sanding down the wall... think that's how I got sick... snorting paint fumes all day...

crap... and no high either. Just a major loooooow...

So, I am resorting to a medicine which I know works wonders on low energy and a slow brain - coke. Since I've given up alcohol (3 weeks now and not missing it a bit), I've rediscovered coke, however, I must remain vigilant, and not let it get carried away. I must have a predisposition to addiction... all at once or not at all seems to be my way.

cheerio!

My Daemon Skaene

2007-05-08T13:22:00.000+08:00

street names

2007-05-07T13:17:00.000+08:00

A loooong time ago, in fact the first week I moved here to little ol' Sitiawan, I encountered a uniquely Malaysian problem. Street names, or the lack of them.

I was looking for some food for my darling wife, and was a little lost. I rang her and she asked me where I was. I looked, looked and looked for a road sign. None. Malaysians aren't too fond of naming roads. And when they do, they put the sign rather low, so that if a car is parked in front of it, you would be hard pressed to see it.

However, fortune was on my side, and I saw the sign I was looking for. I told Dee 'Jalan Sehala', thinking I was rather clever... she said 'yeah, but where?' 'Jalan Sehala woman!' 'Do you know how many 'Jalan Sehala' there are??? That means one-way white man!'... needless to say I was still lost.

The Fuzz...

2007-05-07T13:06:00.000+08:00

Riding to work this morning, on the 150 scooter, I came around a corner and lo, there was the fuzz. No signs, no cones, just 4 blokes waiting to catch naughty bike riders without helmets etc. Or so I thought...

I was signalled to pull over, just routine(!), and was expecting to answer the usual questions about my licence etc. However, as soon as the first fuzz saw my skin colour (oh, Putih!), he promptly told me to 'go go go'. I duly said thanks, and took off. They were looking for some 'duit kopi' I'm sure. I think the Chinese dude next to me said a quiet 'thanks' to my presence too because he was shooed away also!

I also noticed they didn't have their normal 'saya anti-rasuah' badges on. Guess it was 'saya rasuah' after all! Hehehe... hope they get a pay-rise soon, cos they obviously can't afford to live on what they earn now!

I don't really blame them these days, although I still frown on it. I can see both sides of the problem. At least it wasn't a completely boring morning eh?

been a long time...

2007-05-05T13:44:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time between blogs...

I think I just wanted to leave it alone, and still pretend I was in New Zealand...

Well, it was a great trip, with family and friends having a ball at my sister's wedding. Unfortunately, she and her new husband came down with dengue fever while on honeymoon! Only a few weeks later, she also had her appendix rupture. She was admitted to hospital, went thru the usual checks, and was promptly given an operation to take it out. Of course, with the lack of investment in New Zealand's health system (like almost every other country), she was discharged too soon, and that resulted in her having a major infection. More antibiotics, drips and pain. She's better now, but after 2 months of trouble.

Things have been interesting here in Malaysia too. I've resumed my studies, now that I have more time, I've been getting to the gym more regularly and I've given up alcohol. That last one is definitely gonna be hard when all the usual holidays come knocking, but I really feel that it's time.

There has been the usual laughable politics here, by (buy)-elections and political disasters which will always be ignored or swept under the carpet. Honestly, if they offered me permanent residence here tomorrow, I'd insist on the right to run for parliament. If they didn't allow me to do that, I'd say 'no thanks, you can keep your PR - I only want to live in a country where I can make a difference and am appreciated'.

The kids are good, getting into constant mischief. Caleb is learning to speak more words, and Kaitlyn is beginning to do as she's told! Not easy for little princess, but I'm not bringing up another Paris Hilton! There are enough spoilt brats here.

Hope everyone's been well, and if you have been waiting for another blog from me, sorry for the delay. I simply couldn't get the motivation up to write about anything!

Godzone, God's Own, New Zealand, Paradise

2007-02-02T12:02:00.000+08:00

I'M BAAAAAAACK!

Here I am, sitting at my mum's computer in sunny Whangamata, New Zealand. My first blog from outside Malaysia. I'm rather happy right now.

We left last Friday, and what a hell of a trip it was. The flight alone was over 10 hours, and would have been tough enough, but what made it the hardest challenge of my parenting years yet was that Caleb did a power-shit in the boarding lounge JUST before we boarded the flight, soiling his legs, pants and shoes! Dee did an emergency dash to the nearest baby clothes store to get some pants, and not before time too! We were almost the last to board the plane, and the kids were getting rather tired from a long trip down from Sitiawan.
To make things worse, about half an hour into the flight Caleb did a power chuck all over mummy, probably from some dodgy airport food we had had just before leaving. Shit bugger fuck. He had been dressed in some cool-dude boy clothes and now he was wearing pink! Little shit. The joys of travelling with two toddlers! What were we thinking?!?! But, we made it, and it's been just perfect since we arrived.

No wonder New Zealand is called paradise. I had truly forgotten just how beautiful and clean my home is. I am now trying not to get too depressed at the thought of leaving in 3.5 weeks. I need to just 'be' here and enjoy it, and deal with leaving when it happens, otherwise I'll spend the whole time thinking how stink Malaysia is, and will ruin my time here! Now that WOULD be stupid..!

Tomorrow we are going back up to Auckland for Brent's bachelor party. That starts at around 3-4pm, and will go late-ish. I have been a little naughty, enjoying far too many NZ beers, but what the hell - they are the best damn beers in the world - who could say no? None today though, 'saving' it for tomorrow.

Happy New Year and all that jazz...!

2007-01-06T16:52:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year everyone! I hope Christmas didn't leave too big a scar! Besides, a bit of make up will see to that...

Well, new year has come and gone, on time as usual. Can always count on new year being on time, if anything, a little early. Always seems like there's more to get done than time to get it done in.. who's speeding up the clock? - bastards...

Our school has reopened for the new year (did it close??) and we're at full-steam ahead already, which is really good - especially for the bank account. Makes the trip to NZ that little bit easier. Also, the house is coming along, I'll post some pics later, and we'll be moving in as soon as we're back. That's something to look forward to after a holiday.

I'm growing my hair long this time. I haven't done that before, cos I'm a sporty type, and like my hair 'streamlined'. But I have relented to my wife's wishes for me to cover up my supposedly ENORMOUS forehead. with hair. oh yeah.
I will also put up a picture or two of that look when it's ripe.

We leave for NZ on the 27th, arrive the next day, spend 4 weeks eating and drinking, and are back on the 28th. One month of 'oooooh baby, I'm on holiday!'

will love you all later!

Ok, enough is enough

2006-12-16T11:00:00.000+08:00

Now I predicted a stressful end of the year period, but this is quite ridiculous.

Money, family feuds, money, business, students, money.

NZ can't come quick enough.

My students seem incapable of thinking for themselves. They need babysitting - at 16 years old. What's gonna happen to Malaysia in the future. I dread.

My wife's family has had a long, long, long overdue 'clearing-of-the-air' regarding very serious family issues. Bloodied, battered bodies lying all over the place. Emotions running high, all because they are scared stiff of each other. Chronic problems have surfaced, which is painful, but necessary for healing. Not pleasant stuff.

We need to make more money soon, or it will be ball-wrenchingly tight. We're talking male-ballet-dancer tight. I don't know if I can wear pants that tight...

We're moving back to NZ asap. Enough is enough. This place kills. So does speed. But I think Malaysia needs a warning label on the side, to warn users of side effects - loss of sleep, incontinence, impotence, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, suicidal tendencies, screaming fits etc...

But, my ever-present (and annoyingly obvious) optimistic attitude will see me through. I was made of tougher stuff, and this present fit of the screamin' heebie-jeebies will fade. Then we'll be in NZ, where there are never any problems, and everything and everyone is perfect. Even the criminals say sorry and please.

la de da.

Nearly there...

2006-12-08T10:56:00.000+08:00

Well, the end of the year is fast approaching, and with it all the accompanying stresses!

First, my school is having its final exams, and so last minute preparations, classes and whatnot are par for the course. It's been tough, mentally taxing and stressful, but fun all the same. I get an inordinate amount of work done during this period, and it always reminds me of the saying 'if you want to get something done, give it to a busy man'. True true.

Secondly, the house is now reaching the final stages of completion, and although the structure is now up, all the interior designing is now taking place. That is a headache all in itself! Dee and I have our own ideas of what we'd like in our room and the kids room, but we have to find the middle ground of course. That's where the challenge is!

Thirdly, Xmas is coming, and that means 'SPEND MONEY!' Hey, aren't we supposed to be saving for the trip to NZ in Jan???

Lastly, I need to get things at the school ready for next years classes and courses. We need to do an 'open day', send out flyers, organise who will teach what, and when. Lots to do.

I have pretty much given up on having any kind of time off during the xmas period, but that's cool cos we're off to NZ in 6 weeks! WAHOO!!!

Why oh why didn't they just stick to singing...

2006-11-27T21:06:00.000+08:00

Well I was right again. Wales got a hiding, and they got one after deliberately snubbing the Haka, one of the few genuine theatrical moments in rugby. The Haka isn't a commercial gimmick - it's the soul of the All Blacks. You just don't mess with it, cos really nasty, painful things happen to you - on the field, and with your pride.

I used to have respect for the Welsh, since they are about the only other country in the world where rugby is their national sport - but after they decided to 'move' the Haka from after the national anthems to in-between them, with the All Blacks deciding to retort by doing the venerable Haka in the dressing room, I have to say I'm very disappointed. Now, I am a fair-minded sort of chap, and I had a giggle at the thought of 22 very upset muscular guys doing a war chant facing a concrete slab wall, but, I also saw the point both sides were trying to make. Wales knew they couldn't beat the All Blacks, so resorted to all sorts of tricks to take away the psycological edge... well that worked didn't it.

They got thoroughly pasted 45-10.

So much for helping your team. You just made the All Blacks more angry. NOT a very bright idea. Twit.

update on the house

2006-11-17T11:00:00.000+08:00

We take our trees very seriously...

2006-11-16T12:12:00.000+08:00

Trees and footpaths are very important in NZ, and if you hurt one, watch out!

More..

So I was a little off...

2006-11-12T15:30:00.000+08:00

Well, I didn't quite predict that last game against France too well did I?? I expected a close match with a score line difference of no more than 10-15 points.

The All Blacks beat the Number 2 side in the world 47-3.

Jeez...

And that included 10, out of 15, changes of players from the week before...

So in reality, New Zealand now has the top 2 teams in the world.

Chest swelling, pride thumping stuff. I'm damn proud to be a Kiwi.

Let's see what happens next week - should be closer, cos the French will now know what to expect. I certainly hope it will be closer - the AB's need a close game!

New Stadia

2006-11-11T15:07:00.000+08:00

In New Zealand, arguably the home of rugby, there is no national stadium. There are wonderful stadiums in all the major cities, and they have been there many years and have amazing histories, but there is not one stadium which could be called 'Stadium New Zealand'.

Now, New Zealand has won the hosting rights to the 2011 Rugby World Cup and there is real need for Auckland to step up and upgrade its infrastructure and facilities for a major event.

Auckland is in the top 5 of best livable cities around the world, and rightly so. There are over 800 parks and recreational areas in the city, far more than any other city i've ever been to. It is disabled-friendly, has a mild climate, the people are friendly and genuine (to each other too!) and has 2 amazing natural habours which have spawned a love of the outdoors which New Zealand is all-too famous for. Auckland is known as the 'City-of-Sails', because there are more boats owned in Auckland than any other place on earth. We LOVE our outdoors.

But Eden Park, that beloved old lady, is getting tired. She has had her day, and the time is ripe for a new, modern and better-located venue for sports and concerts. Eden Park is located right smack-bang in the middle of Mt Eden, a leafy suburb of Auckland, more known for cafes, bars, well-preserved old villas and wonderful streets. Not the sort of place to have the city's largest and busiest Stadium!

I am all for the new stadium being designed for the downtown area. It will be modelled on the Alianz Arena in Munich, which was the centre-piece for the 2006 Soccer World Cup.
It should cost in the region of $700 million, not a small sum, but well-worth it to help re-invigorate a tired and less-than-appealing downtown.

There are still major political and economic hurdles to overcome before the first piles are driven in, but with some positive thinking, logical planning and good-ol' fashioned foresight, Stadium Aotearoa should be ready for 2011. Cheers to bold thinking and bright ideas!

Godzone indeed - no corruption

2006-11-07T13:23:00.000+08:00

Another round of drinks for Kiwis please!

Yet another reason why NZ is the place to be...

2006-11-07T11:47:00.000+08:00

This today from overseas...

Any more reasons for me to love NZ? Still, we could do better yet.

So far correct...

2006-11-06T11:40:00.000+08:00

Well, I picked it. The All Blacks beat England by 41-20, almost exactly the scoreline I predicted. We were masterfull, basically giving the World Champions a lesson, and proving yet again that the All Blacks today are by far the best team in the world. Now comes the much tougher challenges of France and Wales, but my predictions are as follows: 30-12 AB's over France, 40-30 AB's over France (second test), and 40+ - 15 AB's over Wales. These scores have an 'ish' about them...

Go the All Blacks!

Bring on the Rugby!

2006-11-03T16:50:00.000+08:00

Well, it's the end of year tour to the Northern Hemisphere, and the end of year tests that usually define a season. Last year, the All Blacks acheived a clean sweep of the 'Home Unions', and beat England, Wales, Ireland and Scotland one after another, achieving only the 2nd Grand Slam in All Black history, the previous one being in 1979. This year, although playing different teams, it is no less important thanks to the World Cup being less than 1 year away.
During November this year, the AB's are playing England (1), France (2), and Wales (1). We're expected to win comfortably over the English, because they're having a shocker of a season, but a much more torrid time is predicted in the French encounters. Those will be the real tests of the AB's character before next year's tournaments. Wales also shouldn't put up too much resistance, but you can never be sure with the Welsh - they have wonderful passion about rugby, and have earned a lot of respect from New Zealand.
With Tana Umaga retired, it looked like there was a significant gap in the middle of the back line, but cover is there with Ma'a Nonu in 13, and he has Aaron Mauger inside him and Joe Rokocoko outside. Plenty of experience there. The Captain's duties have been awarded to Richie McCaw, number 7, so he will also gain valuable experience from this tour - even though he was captain for 1 test during last year's tour. This time though, he's the Captain for the whole tour, and will find himself in unfamiliar territory regarding the English media!
I expect the AB's to outshine England with a score around 20+ over the English. France will be much tougher, having their club sides winning the Heineken Cup now for 3 years. But I still predict AB wins, albeit much closer. Wales will get a hiding.

They make it so hard to love...

2006-11-01T16:10:00.000+08:00

This sort of thing just shouldn't happen... but it does, and with far too much regularity.

In Malaysia, you have this much beloved government department devoted to keeping Muslims from being naughty or too western - the JAWI, or religious police. It is their job to keep up the high moral standards they believe everyone should adhere to. The majority of the time they keep their beady narrow eyes on muslim women (in more ways than one), and stop them from misbehaving (having fun) with muslim men they are not married to. Some of their other duties include stopping people from showing too much (any) affection in public, holding hands, hugging, smiling - ok, not that last one, but if they could... etc.
Now Malaysia is trying to become a developed country, and an Islamic one at that, so they are entering unknown territory - there are NO developed Islamic countries in the world (you could say Dubai and the UAE was developed, but I'm not sure of the 'requirements'). So, there are clearly a few common practises happening in Malaysia which would definitely slow down it's progress, and having a Morality police is certainly one of them. The grey area for this job would make any lawyer proud!
I don't have a problem per se with having a department devoted to keeping public order (that's what the police are for), but it's the job description, the limits (or lack of them) of their powers, who, what and where they are applicable and the people entrusted with this job that makes the difference. It seems to be that unemployable hicks from the backwaters get these jobs! They are the most conservative, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bunch of limp-wristed twits I have had the displeasure of seeing. The effects of their raids and inquisitions on mostly innocent people have created sooo much anger, humiliation and resentment among the Malays that they are feared. Which is exactly what they want.
Bastards.
Now, they have picked on the wrong couple, and have got egg on their faces, and have made Malaysia start to look like either a police-state, or a religious zealot's holiday destination of choice!
Malaysia is gonna have a hard time convincing people that it is moderate and open if it continues to humour these wankers.
I often find that one minute I really 'get' the place, and could spend time here, but then this ugly side of Malaysia rears is bigoted head; that, and the endemic racism. But that's another story!
They make is so hard to love it here...

Just another reason to love 'Godzone'...

2006-10-31T11:58:00.000+08:00

NZ is by far the best country in the world to live in, and that's not just my opinion! I know other's will disagree, and there are definitely other countries I would happily live in, but I'm from NZ, and that's where my loyalties lie - naturally of course!

More...

Nothing much to report, BUT...

2006-10-25T10:50:00.000+08:00

The kids are great, healthy and having fun, the school is closed for 2 weeks giving me a break from teaching, and our new business is growing by the day!

Diana is looking amazing, and so healthy, I'm feeling great with heaps of energy, and we've both lost weight where we need to!

Need I say more? If you NEED to know what we're doing, let me know!

Happy DeepaRaya!

2006-10-21T13:49:00.000+08:00

Happy Holidays to our Hindu and Muslim friends out there...

Please drive safely during this time, and don't engorge yourselves too much on all that yummy food!

Maddog

Why I don't trust China...

2006-10-12T11:45:00.000+08:00

Check this out...

If anyone thinks the Chinese Government are changing, think again.

And now from North Korea!

2006-10-09T14:37:00.000+08:00

Well, they've gone and done it. The clearly mis-named DPRK (Democratic People's Republic of Korea) have gone and detonated an atomic bomb underground.

This will certainly make for good tv in the next coming days!

and from CNN...

2006-10-09T14:31:00.000+08:00

from the BBC...

2006-10-09T14:25:00.000+08:00

A classic example for my blog below - bbc

Should explain a lot...

those lazy, crazy, hazy days of summer

2006-10-09T10:57:00.000+08:00

The dreaded haze is back, this time with a vengence. I really wonder what the point of the ASEAN agreement on Transboundary Haze and Pollution is... The very nature of the Asian culture means that disagreements and problems take AGES to sort out because everyone is so worried about offending someone else, they take a forever to ARRIVE at the root cause of the problem.
I am sure, if it was a European country, there would be lawsuit after lawsuit, protest after protest, complaint after complaint, and finally, if nothing was done, embargoes. But around here, the 'softly-softly' approach is used, even when it clearly doesn't work.

The haze is caused mainly by low-income subsistence farmers in the rural parts of Indonesia using the stone-age method of 'slash and burn' to clear away old scrubland to make way for cleared forest for farming. This method is banned in most countries, because it is a polluting and short-term solution to a common problem - lack of arable, usable land for farming. These poor farmers have no other alternative than to use this method to continue farming, and indeed surviving. So the blame lies fair and square on the Indonesian Governments doorstep. Those bastards at the top of the heap in that country are bleeding it dry with corruption. And the rot extends right down to the lowest common denominator (or local official) in any part of the archipelago.

You can't even get a passport in Indonesia without bribing someone, and you can have any old age or information on it! Our last maid, when she left us, was 15 years old. Her Indonesian passport said she was 25 when she joined us - 2 years previous! Now, if you can't trust a country's passport, there isn't really anything you CAN trust from that country. It pretty much says it all... But really, I'm not telling anyone anything new here, am I.

All we can do now is, stay indoors, keep the air-con going, minimise outdoor activities and wait for the air to clear. The Malaysian government sounds really upset this time, but like the years gone before, nothing REALLY will change, because they don't want to offend the Indonesians... But I sure as hell would like to.

House in Progress

2006-09-28T14:01:00.000+08:00

The political nonsense, and the publics opinions

2006-09-28T12:07:00.000+08:00

For the publics opinions on Labour, check out stuff .

This should pretty much cover the reaction to what I was mentioning yesterday...

on a more serious note...

2006-09-27T19:15:00.000+08:00

It seems that liberal, left-wing governments all over the world are pretty much doomed. This is most obvious in the UK, and is also either happening, or has already happened in Canada, NZ, Japan, Germany, France and Spain. The reasons are many, from rising religious-ness, tiredness of social engineering, or simply a desire for change.
In NZ's case, we have gone through nearly 9 years of the Helen Clark-led Labour governments agenda of feminisation, social engineering and now corruption. The dying gasps of her government are to be heard all over the country, with one issue after another coming up with un-ending regularity. I for one, am certainly relieved. She has lied, covered up, spun, decieved and coerced so many people, all for her hidden agenda of getting the top job at the UN, that the country would be in ruins, along with it's reputation, were it not for the fact that most New Zealanders are quite simply ignoring the governments plans and ideas. We know our country, and we certainly don't want a singapore-style nanny-state, with all the freedoms (sic) that that country enjoys.
The first signs of corruption under Labour occured some 2 years ago, when Helen Clark sold a painting supposedly painted by her for charity - only to find out that it was not painted by her, just signed by her. This wouldn't be too bad, as it's really a non-issue, but it was the start of a pattern of corruption by her that would give the opposition sooo much ammunition, it's actually hard to understand why they lost the election...
Hard on the heals of the painting episode, was her speeding cavalcade to a rugby match. She made her police officer drivers take the heat, getting suspended licences and such, while she lied on tv and in the other media that 'I didn't realise we were going that speed'... we clearly must be a very ignorant lot if we believe THAT.
In the following months, there followed corruption scandals which would make any Third World leader proud. MP's getting cheap illegal immigrants to do the renovation work on their houses,
false spending during an election to the tune of half a million dollars - which allegation was subsequently upheld by an independant inquiry; after which, Labour now proposes backdating legislation to make such spending LEGAL. If that isn't corruption, what is? Mis-managed public funds for a party's own benefit. Look it up.
Now, she has labelled the leader of the opposition 'cancerous' to NZ's political sphere, for calling Labour corrupt. She has lashed out so virulently, clearly the label fits. 'Methinks she doth protest too much'.

Labour has to go. I am, for one, ashamed of their antics and behaviour. I will be making efforts to help rid NZ of this corruption and arrogance any way I can. My country is too good a place to be let down by this greedy, corrupt and arrogant group of people.

stuff and nonsense...and a wedding to boot!

2006-09-27T11:59:00.000+08:00

hey y'all!

Hamish, my very best mate, had his wedding on the 16th September - congratulations mate! I'm sorry I couldn't do the honour of being your best man; earning Malaysian Ringgit doesn't allow for too much overseas travel... especially to England!
I hope you had an awesome honeymoon in Spain, with heaps of crazy, dirty and shag-nasty sex you grotty monkey! Love that gorilla lovin'...

The house is coming along, but having some trouble with a 'little-napoleon' who is making things hard... this guy, a draftsman, believes HE is the architect and insists on being the decision-maker regarding all sorts of important LEGAL and FINANCIAL issues we face daily. If he could just do his job, and stop trying to extort us for more money, we'd be much further on.

Diana's parents come back soon, so the heat will again be off us, and we'll have a chance to see all our friends again as we will get out of town for a few days to shop, breathe different air, and leave work alone. Can't wait.

One last thing - if you visit my site, I would love to get a comment or two from you lot! I enjoy getting feedback - please please please comment or just say hi!

lots of manly feelings, no groins touching of course.

more thoughts...

2006-09-21T12:56:00.000+08:00

Well, finally something financial has gone our way. The MATTA fair, which is the 'Malaysian Association of Tourism and Travel Agents' fair has come at the best time. We can now save over RM4000 on the airfares to NZ! Thank goodness, because flying to NZ from Malaysia is getting more expensive every year. This confirms our trip at the end of January, and no more worries about finding the best deals etc!

The house is now over 50% complete, with the roof being finished this week. That's a major milestone, because then the brickworks and internal finishing can begin, and the house will start to really look 'livable'...

Now's the time we start looking at IKEA and Freedom Furniture in NZ for ideas for the kids room and our bedroom... money aside, we think we know what 'look' we want - we're keen on the urban apartment image, and so we're looking at natural, modern colours etc.

Kaitlyn is now at that age where she's challenging everything, at all times. She can be a real bitch! Hahaha, she really can! The looks she's figured out, and the ways of talking back to us make us wonder WHERE she picked it up - but it's ok, we know it's just a phase she has to go thru before she learns what acceptable behaviour is. We are ok, we've got the patience. She'll find me to be very consistent on discipline and correct behaviour.

Caleb is chatting more and more, and is very persistent. He knows he's got most people wrapped around his little fingers, and is so lovable right now, it's hard to imagine him like Kaitlyn is right now..! Dee and I are loving the challenge, especially without so many other people in the house to contradict us and our methods - a lot of authority at the moment. My worry is that when Dee's parents get back, Kaitlyn will ignore us and go straight to Nanna, to get the wrong attention she craves... But for now, she's got to learn and do as she's told - Caleb too!

gym, sprains, backs and floors

2006-09-18T18:12:00.000+08:00

I've been going to the gym recently, hope to make it permanent. It REALLY helps with my attitude, and gets me in the right frame of mind for work and study; plus, it allows me to release any stress in a productive way - I'm getting fitter and losing the flab around the gut - and putting on muscle.

But the other day, somehow I sprained a muscle in the middle of my back - no, not overdoing it at the gym, but at 10pm at night, cuddling the kids!
F--k it hurt! Put me out of order for a week! First 2 nights, I hardly got any sleep it was so bloody painful...

Anyway, I'm ok now and back to the gym. Worked out my legs and abs today - damn I feel gooooood.. I always do after a good workout...

The only way I could rest my back was to lie on the hard floor - it worked wonders! I always did like lying on hard floors, and this time it held another purpose.

Anyway, like I said, it's all good now, so back into it...

Our New House

2006-09-09T14:52:00.000+08:00

We're really looking forward to moving in here! More room, the kids will have their own room, we can decorate ourselves etc...
It's a slow process building with concrete, as in NZ we usually build with wood - but there are no termites there!

Decent Fooooood!

2006-09-05T19:30:00.000+08:00

Hooray!
Secret Recipe has now opened in Sitiawan!
Now, finally, I can have a proper coffee, and some healthy food! That place is clean, efficient, has quality food and a really nice atmosphere. I look forward to a wonderful and long relationship with Secret Recipe!
I like the local food too, but it's just really oily and fatty - often deep-fried and has MSG covering all of it... and let's not forget the Malaysian obsession with sugar! Nice if you wanna die of diabetes, but that's not my bag baby!

Je ne comprend pas...

2006-09-05T12:12:00.000+08:00

This just in:

It is now the Police Department of Malaysia which is to fix the increasing cost of living in Malaysia. They now have the responsibility of maintaining the status quo, and fostering driving habits which will help bring down the overall cost of living to the ordinary Malaysian.

How will they achieve this never-before-seen feat? By giving all and sundry carte blanche on the roads... This in turn will allow the police to relax, knowing they won't be under pressure to accept all those bribes they get faced with every day... They can now leave the responsibility of maintaining safe roads to volunteer organisations such as Joe Bloggs who helps out during an accident, or the old man trying to cross the street during 'rush' hour.

By lowering the fines by at least 50%, Malaysians can now break the law without breaking the bank! Thank god, because the cost of living was sooo high, now, at least the cost of dying is dirt cheap!
Perhaps in their next ingenious move, the police can leave the homicide inquiries to the old-folks-home down the road to give them more to do!

OK, so apart from the obvious sarcasm, about 56% of Malaysians polled DISAGREED with the lowering of the fines. So why do it? Your average Malaysian knows that lowering fines DOESN'T encourage better driving habits. All the Malaysians I work with know what the result will be - more carnage.

Please don't break the law - that's the cheapest option!

New additions and new feelings!

2006-09-03T13:10:00.000+08:00

1st, I want to congratulate Jordan and Leen Macvay on the arrival of Alisdair at 11.23pm on September 1st! Well done to both of you, and I hope you can get some much-needed rest after an obviously long and tiring day! Welcome to parenthood guys..!

2nd, Happy Father's day to my Dad in New Zealand! Our Father's Day is on the 1st Sunday of September, and I hope he's having a good one. Have a cold beer for me Dad!

In other news, our new house is coming along slowly but surely, and will hopefully be ready before Christmas, which would allow us to see in the new year in a new house! Building with concrete instead of wood takes much longer, and is a painstakingly slow process, but the house looks great.

Kaitlyn is a little 'Miss'. I love her to bits, but she has sooo many of my bad traits that I now understand my wife's frustrations! We are both easily distracted, short attention span, annoying habit of talking incessantly, and never listen to others! I am now determined to cease and desist my annoyances to others! I'll update this blog with my progress...

On another subject, my studies have begun, albeit slowly. I will finish 3 of 18 modules by the end of November, which will give me a great start to my Optical Dispensing Certificate. I SHOULD finish the course in about 24 months - that's the target. I don't want to spend too much time completing a Certificate...

Caleb, my son, is sure to be a sports star one day. At least I hope so... His natural skills are already evident at just 19 months of age. Everyone comments about his abilities when they see him kicking his ball around - his timing, skill and focus are amazing! I have hardly had to teach him anything - he has a natural liking for sport. I am needless to say pleased about this! Everyone knows how sports-mad kiwi's are! He's also the cheekiest little bastard I've ever met! He's very intelligent, like my daughter, and uses it to make people swoon!

My only gripe this time, is the lack of entertainment in Sitiawan. Diana's parents are in NZ, and we're here running 3 businesses, making sure the house building is going smooth, and dealing with all of life's little drama's. That in itself isn't so bad. What gets to us is that there isn't ANYTHING to do apart from work. It's driving a wedge between us. We get stressed and take it out on each other. I guess people here just aren't interested in spending time and money on entertainment... Sitiawan isn't a small town - there are over 100,000 people in the district. Perhaps to an Asian, that IS small, but to a Kiwi, that's the size of one of our cities! Where we'd have cinema's, malls, cafe's (the real one's), art galleries, sports fields and stadiums, parks, bars and pubs, restaurants of various culture's and all the other amenities, Sitiawan has almost ZILCH of these. I mean ZILCH. I suppose westerner's are 'richer', and spend more on life's luxuries, but come on, a small art gallery or park with a safe playground can't be TOO much to ask for? People's priorities here are on making money. That seems to be all. Surely there's more to life than money? There are TONNES of New Zealander's who are MUCH poorer than many of the people here, yet somehow have a higher standard of living... I should know - I'm one of them. I earn so little compared to many people here, and yet my life has more variation - as much as I can afford - because to me, relaxation and fun are not 'children's stuff'...
I will put up with it because I can't change it. But, I will also do all I can to have a FULL life here.

Once again, congratulations to Jordan and Leen, and we'll see you as soon as the time is right.

what to call this one?

2006-08-30T18:11:00.000+08:00

I've decided to delete a few of my nastier blogs, because they have been offending and upsetting some people. I regret that, and hope I'm not perceived as a bigot.

I often blog about the negative aspects of Malaysia, due to my limited amount of patience and tolerance. Or it could be my extraordinary high standards that I set for myself and others, and when people don't (intentionally or not) live up to them, I get angry. This is my major weakness; that and my very delicate ego.

One thing I hate more than what gets me angry, is having people angry at me. This is a total oxymoron I know, and a seemingly easy thing to fix, but I struggle with my ability to 'let things go' on a hour by hour basis!

I get angry at bad driving, people who are inconsiderate, dirty and mannerless, people who litter and a whole host of other things that make everyone angry too. The trigger for me is when they get away with it. That's when I get pissed. When I see someone beat the red light or drive like a madman, and the cop RIGHT THERE doesn't do a thing! I've seen it more times than I can count, and I am more fed up with the police than the driver. Many times I've said that I'd love to be a cop here - I'd clean up the place so fast - but Dee reminds me that I'd be targetted for a hit before the end of the week. That in turn makes me think that no-one really cares! So long as they don't have to do anything...

I am the first to admit I have anger control issues. I hate my anger. I have read and thought about it for a long time. One release I have is the gym or exercise. That helps greatly. Also, focussing on something positive intensely also helps.

I am happy (to a point) to self-censor my comments about day-to-day life here, but I also need to let things out. I don't have a journal, and this blog is my outlet. I need to get the bad blood out into the air to really release things. If they offend someone, sorry. I'll delete the post after some time, when I've read it once I've cooled down and see how purile it is...

I also don't want to shy away from discussing difficult or sensitive topics - I firmly believe that's healthy. It leads to self-analysis and that's what I do often. I've had to eat humble pie so often lately, I've really taken a beating... But in the end, like I was and have been advised to do so often, I'll grow up.

Love and peace

Our new business

2006-08-22T19:14:00.000+08:00

We've just started a new business, divineMums, which is our clothing company which designs breastfeeding tops! We have 7 designs, of which 3 are already on the way.
Since having 2 kids, and Dee breastfeeding both, we noticed a major lack of clothing which makes breastfeeding easy and discreet. So we decided a while ago to make our own stuff!
Most mothers will tell you how hard it is to find tops which allow you to feed without flopping out the whole breast for the world to see... so we've solved that one!

If anyone wants to have a gander, go to www.divinemums.com and you'll see the designs and colours. If you want to order any, just order online through our website.

Take the time to have a look, especially if you're a mum considering breastfeeding - it IS THE MOST natural way to nourish your baby - don't believe all the advertising gimmicks for baby formula out there! Nature has had it sorted out for eons; what makes you think some chemistry nerd can do any better??????

hehehe!

and in the news...

2006-08-18T17:30:00.000+08:00

News from home...

The Maori Queen, Dame Te Atairangikaahu, died on Monday after a short illness. She was 80 years old - I think. She was on the Maori throne for over 40 years. Her Tangi (funeral) will be held at the Turangawaewae Marae in Ngarawhahia on Saturday.

Bloke hooks 317kg Tuna off coast near Hokitika. This will get the illegal fishermen running for NZ faster than a boat full of naked blondes yelling "god I'm drunk"... The fishermans comments were as follows: "I walked around for a while like a stunned mullet, then I had a beer. I was knackered...".

Asian students in NZ turning to hard drugs.
Apparently the police in NZ are doing such a good job of stopping asian student extortion, they've given up on that idea saying it's 'no longer profitable'... These overseas students, almost entirely from either China or Malaysia, are so bored with the lack of shopping and internet cafe's, they've turned to kidnapping and extortion of other asian students to keep their minds busy.
The Asian community in NZ has to be taught that it is 'OK' to go to the police if they are the victims of crime, because the police will do their job.
WHAT ON EARTH ARE THE POLICE IN THEIR OWN COUNTRIES DOING THEN? I live in Malaysia, and I have an idea. They are often guilty of 'doing what's easy, not what's right'.

Nice wee rant!

what a week

2006-07-24T12:21:00.000+08:00

Well, a lot can happen in a week can't it?!

I've had to cancel our trip to London due to finances - earning Malaysian ringgit stiffles travel quite well! But, we can now afford to go to NZ and have a GOOD time. We're gonna stay one month, and it will be during summer!! woo hoo!
Unfortunately, this means I won't be Hamish's best man at his wedding. I am gutted to say the least about this, but there is no-one to blame but myself. If I had earned more money, or just stayed in NZ, then we'd be able to go... I know Hamish understands, but I feel like I've let my best mate down. So now I don't know whether to laugh or cry! I've made the right decision financially, but it still sucks!

Much ado about nothing...

2006-07-15T12:35:00.000+08:00

Hey there everyone,

Another long break between posts, mainly because I couldn't be bothered to write anything...

Nevertheless, many things have happened since my last posting, and I shall regale you with these happenings now:

I'm 30 as of 9th July - Happy Birthday to me, etc etc etc...

Macvay is coming back to civilisation on the 14th July. Happy Bastille Day to any French readers!

My Sister is now engaged to be married - and I am stoked about this. One small problem though, it's during February, which is the busiest month of the year. But, it's the best excuse to go back to NZ and home, so we'll just have to find the money.

Hamish's wedding is coming fast, in Sept, so getting a little bit excited for that trip - childless and free to do what we want, when we want! We've had to cut about a third out of the trip to save money, but thats cool.

The All Blacks are playing again, and have so far won all 4 matches this year. Thank GOD the football World Cup is over - what a bunch of arse that was - 7 f--king channels devoted to those wimpy over-paid pansy boys running around faking penalties... no wonder I hate soccer.

Thank you for your kind attention, and have a nice day!

Jake

Been a while...

2006-05-29T16:26:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone, it's been a while!

Haven't had much to say recently, so no point blogging for the hell of it right? But at least today I will update those of you interested in my life.

Have begun the enrolment process for my Optical Dispensing course and my Diploma in Business. Can't wait to start studying - looking forward to moving forward.

We have the cash for the UK trip, so thats a monkey off our back, but not all of it is savings - will be attacking the credit cards a bit for this one. We're budgeting around RM20k for it, perhaps a bit more. But we're on our way regardless, so now we're starting to get a bit excited about going.

Bought myself a new laptop computer, an Acer Aspire 5500Z, and it's goooooood. Mainly for my studies, but also to allow me to update my skills as I need to spend some quality time getting back in 'the game' so to speak...

My mum turned 50 on 28th May - Happy Birthday mum! I am sorry I couldn't be there, but we're hoping you'll be here for my 30th on 9th July... We're crossing our fingers that you'll make it!
I can't believe my mum is now 50. I was always proud to announce that my mum was still in her 40's, but thats the way it goes. I am always proud of my parents regardless of how old and dotty they get! Good filial son...

Kids are good, making us laugh and wanna kill them at the same time still. Will miss them heaps when overseas, but we definitely need an 'adult' break - time by ourselves. I'll try to bring them something back from 'Hamleys', just like my parents did with me. I think i'll get lost there...

Anyway, if I think of something I've forgotten, I'll post again.
Love to all,
Maddog

A new day

2006-05-02T15:33:00.000+08:00

Time for a positive approach to things.

My parents-in-law have arrived back in Malaysia, and it's nice to have them back. For one, it takes a bit of pressure off Diana and myself, especially with the businesses! But really, having familiar faces back again is nice and refreshing - gossip to catch up on, stories to tell etc etc etc.

My information about the Degree in Business I wanted has also arrived, so now able to digest that and get some planning done! Looking forward to studying - some of you might find me a bit of a nutter - and getting some heduca-shee-oan accomplished.

I have also decided on a departure date for us to move back to Godzone. Late December 2008, in time for Xmas we will be in NZ. That is when Kaitlyn will be old enough for school, I will be nearing completion of my degree, and will have at least 4+ years of experience running businesses. It seems to all fit nicely, so no doubt will happen that way. I am happy now a date has been set, although much work needs to be done before then - but thats fine.

Last week was a miserable time. Missed out on all sorts of things, due to a heavy work load. Both of us have missed out on quality time recently with the kids, and I'm working 7 days a week, sometimes 13 hours a day. But so long as we reap the benefits, and there is a rest every so often, I can handle it. It's good for you right? What doesn't kill you... etc etc etc.

My parents seem to be set on coming in June, which is great. I also have about 150 NZ beers coming over for me to enjoy at my leisure - most of which will be my Mum's and my combined birthdays this year. Her 50th and my 30th. Big year. I am getting to understand that old saying of 'you're only as old as you feel' or the alternative saying 'you're only as old as the woman you feel'...

My best mate, Hamish, who couldn't use a computer to save his life, has yet to read my blog - so I can lambast him or praise him at will. At the moment, I have very little to say about him other than klhgljk;sdgkglfajl;dfgajghalkgdglkhg;ajdhgl;fhg;lkasjglk;jglkhprtiurrjggjfdvmcxbn,mznhlkjao.

Love to all, and remeber to comment you bastards!

Maddog

Presentation Ceremony

2006-04-20T17:46:00.000+08:00

Looking as businessy as I can...

Can anyone say 'cheeeeeesey'?

2006-04-04T17:52:00.000+08:00

G'day everyone,
It's been a couple of days since I last blogged, AND NO-ONE IS COMMENTING! At least let me know if you've been and say hi!

I have been looking through many websites for decent images of Auckland, Newmarket or Remuera, and haven't found very many at all. If there is someone in one of these places, could you take a few photos for me and send them to me??? I am homesick again, and whether it's a good idea or not, I want photos of home!

Haven't had the energy to either complain or give my opinion on many things because of work, plus it doesn't help my mood much! I am at the point now of just going through the motions, and trying to organise a few friends to come over every so often to have a wee drink or dinner, basically to get to the end of the month when I will know about my degree. Up til then, it's a case of 'same old, same old'.

Send me something interesting or comment, and make me feel not so isolated!

Love to all,
Maddog

nearly there

2006-03-30T12:10:00.000+08:00

Gidday,

I think I know what I WANT to study, and that's a business degree or diploma online. I don't want anything too specific, because that just limits you to doing that job your whole life. I want something nice and flexible, and can be adapted to many jobs and situations around the world. When we go home to NZ, I want to get work quickly, and not spend months looking. I need a usable qualification for that, and I like business so there you go.

We went to Ipoh yesterday to see some friends and have Caleb's back looked at by them. They are both Chiropractors, and they helped him a lot. Mez gave me the once over as well, and told me all about my bent back! He kricked my neck, gave my spine a crack and generally straightened me up. Boy that felt good. He reckons I need 10 sessions to correct my twisted hips, which makes one leg shorter than the other. I don't mind!

As far as leaving Sitiawan and heading elsewhere, we really want to go, but are realistic, and need to consolidate our situation first. I have to go to the UK this year, and earning ringgit makes that a very intimidating thing financially! After that, I'll begin my degree in business, and I'm trying to get Dee to either finish her one or start another. I'm not sure I even have the school grades to qualify to enter the course! If not, I might have to wait until I go home and do some night classes to get better grades, but thats a 'worst-case' scenario. Going to Dubai or Bahrain would be nice, certainly nicer than Sitiawan, but its a big move, and we don't really want to put all our eggs into one basket. I still like my original plan of making money here, buying property to rent in NZ, and finally moving back home to live in a nice place in the suburbs!

All I have to do is make all the students in the district come to my centre and pay top dollar! Not too much to ask is it? Making Foo Chow people pay top money for top quality??? Hmmm...

My plan might take longer than I thought...

education is a must?

2006-03-28T13:06:00.000+08:00

Gidday,

Back to work today, and I'm busy again. That's good, cos I don't want to get bored...

We had a great time again in KL, but more tiring this time. Went up to Genting Highlands for some fun, and it was, until my daughter and the maid got lost for an hour and a half... almost ready to call the cops when I finally found them. I had been wandering around the whole place in shoes that aren't meant for walking in, so the last couple of days I've had extremely sore legs and shins...

So, been thinking about what I am good at, and what I should study, if anything. I still have the belief that too much paper education actually slows you down and limits your ability to look for the best solution... but there is a need inside me to prove I can get a degree, and I want to give my wife and kids a great lifestyle and in Asia, street-smarts are not valued. I am in a conundrum. I firmly believe that anyone can make it, so long as a few basic requirements are in place:
1. The government allows people to have a go equally, and meritocracy is the name of the game.
2. You can read, write, think outside the square and read between the lines.
3. No-one forces you to do or study something you are either no good at, or hate.
4. People should believe in hard work, not names or status.

We all have heard of the richest, most famous so-and-so who made it without any university degree etc. I still reckon I can too, and indeed my 'exit strategy' has no need for a degree, but in order to get the start I believe I can get, I seem to not have enough gumption or 'nous'. So I am willing to go to university to learn all I need to give me the push I need. Is that a waste of money or a good investment? Only time will tell. I don't gamble, and this is a gamble as far as I can see, because could I put that money into a new business or is it better spent investing in property or on a degree? I understand all sides, and pressure to do one thing or another is always there; but I know I can't do what some people DO do with their money, simply because I don't have the financial education...

If any of you have read 'rich dad, poor dad' you'll know what I'm feeling. I am working on my financial education every day, but being married with kids, you can't gamble with the families food money, and if you make a mistake the kids might not get to eat! So my level of risk taking is low. This makes me want a 'safe, secure job', and in this day and age there is no such thing...

What a predicament. Any suggestions?

we're off again...

2006-03-23T18:21:00.000+08:00

We're off again to KL this weekend, simply to say goodbye to some great friends who are off to work in Bahrain. We're a bit jealous because the pay is great (i imagine) and Bahrain is somewhere we would like to visit. Our friends will be there for at least 2 years, and we've only just got to know them!
We'll be spending a night in the Genting highlands with the kids, then going into KL and staying with our friends at their place. Will be another awesome weekend i imagine, and we're getting used to KL now and really enjoying our time there...
I feel a bit useless at the moment. We don't have many classes going, and aren't earning much money. I am looking at doing an online Business degree from home, which would both give me a new sense of accomplishment, as well as increase my earnings potential, not to mention make getting a PR in Malaysia a damn sight easier (although it seems impossible anyway).

Have a great weekend everyone, and stay safe!

sigh...so disgusting...

2006-03-20T11:05:00.000+08:00

Having breakfast at the local 'kopi' shop, feeding Caleb when the Chinese man sitting at the table next to us decides to have a good cough. Didn't cover his mouth and seemed to aim it straight at my son! I almost stuck my chopstick into his ear. Filthy man. Is it any wonder all the worlds diseases come from China or asian countries??? Are they mentally and physically incapable of good manners, or decent hygiene?
The drains outside the shop this morning stank like the local rubbish dump, the haze is returning and it's just horrible... then you see nice patriotic (dorky and naive) songs on tv with young malaysians singing how proud they are of their country. And the place smells like a sewer... one minute they are all nationalistic and rah rah rah about malaysia, the next they are chucking their rubbish out the window, behaving no better than the stray dogs and are scared of losing 'face'?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
I don't get asian mentality, and don't know if I will... sigh... so difficult.!

plans, plans, plans

2006-03-13T19:51:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm sick and tired of Sitiawan. The most obvious thing I noticed about going to KL was the change in both Dee and I. I mean, we were just stunned by the obviousness of our situation. We suddenly realised where the hell we were, and we want out. So now we are making serious plans to get away from everything here; the weather, the maids, the LOW PAY, the slow if not stagnant market for business and the feeling of being trapped.
We're looking at either Dubai, Bahrain or Taiwan.

Phew!

2006-03-08T15:03:00.000+08:00

Well, we had a great time in KL. The hotel we stayed at was brilliant, and the area was perfect. We stayed at the Royal Bintang Damansara, in the new shopping district 'The Curve', and was ideal. It's not near the CBD, so there isn't the usual traffic, and all the amenities you could ask for were there. I loved it.
We spent over RM2000 during our 3 days there, on the hotel, food, shopping and the biggest night out we've had in years! Our friends Jeremy, Farah, Brad and Aida were there to keep us company, and frankly, they MADE the journey. The kids had a great time, and there's a playground in IKEA which was awesome. I ate Mexican and Dee had Japanese, although she didn't end up having her favourite Thai or Dim Sum like she wanted. That was kinda my fault, cos I made us go to TGI Friday's for the kids...
I miss KL already... I used to hate that city, but that was cos we kept either getting lost, having no-one to see, staying in shitty hotels or being stuck in the CBD. NOW, I like it. There is a reason for us to go there now apart from work.
Well, back to work, and the grind. Will be looking for somewhere to work in KL so we can move down there. We're too young to be stuck in this 'old man's town'. We don't want to retire yet!

civilisation, here we come!

2006-03-04T18:48:00.000+08:00

off to KL, and not a moment too soon! Starting to get 'small-town-syndrome' again! God I hate small towns! When you have grown up in a BIG town like Auckland, any small town is hard to get used to, if you can at all! We've done a good job so far, but it's high time to get 'BUSY' !
Even though we're taking the kids, we'll have fun. That sounds bad, but we want some 'adult' time! Anyone who's either had or has young kids will know what i'm talking about. We love our kids to death, but we could strangle them too sometimes! Hehehehe.
I'll update you when I get back. Civilisation, here we come!!!!!!

how could I leave you out?

2006-02-28T15:37:00.000+08:00

In my list below, there are some notable exceptions. My wife, children and friends. Do I have to put them on a list?

They are above any list, so if you think I forgot, you should be ashamed of yourself!

To Diana, Kaitlyn, Caleb, Mum, Dad, Lisa and my dear Friends, I love you all.

Have a nice day

things I like...

2006-02-28T14:28:00.000+08:00

I've been a bit negative with myself recently, so now I am gonna put in a list of all those things which make me 'me'. So anytime I feel down, lost, upset, mis-directed, or not myself, I'll have this list to remind me of who I am, and what it takes just to be ME!

1. Coffee. Good, real coffee, from coffee beans and a coffee machine.

2. Beer. A cold glass of New Zealand's Monteiths Summer Ale would make anyone happy.

3. Red wine. Merlot or Cab Sav. Either one. In a proper glass, on a warm summer's day evening outside.

4. Jazz music. The old stuff. The 'Billie Holiday', 'Satchmo', Duke Ellington', 'Sarah Vaughn' stuff. Not much into the 80's jazz, sorry Dave Brubeck. Give me the classic 30's, 40's and 50's jazz. They had class.

5. Rugby. Go the All Blacks. This is a real mans game. No wusses allowed. If you need padding, go cry to your mamma. Go the Auckland Blues and Otago Highlanders.

6. Reading. I love a good book. Better than any tv show on. Particular to Charles Dickens and Agatha Christie and Poirot.

7. Astronomy. I love outer space! What a magical place, and we know so little about it. I am going to go into space one day for a holiday.

8. Travelling. I enjoy seeing other countries that I am interested in visiting. I don't like travelling to countries I have no interest in seeing. Must visit - USA, England, France, Spain, Sweden, Finland, Italy, Argentina, Mexico, Cuba, Scotland, Ireland, Japan, Turkey and the UAE.

9. Motorbikes. I particularly like the Ducati 749, 916, 999 and Monster. Also, Suzuki GSXR600, Honda CBR600 and Yamaha R6. Honda Hornet is up there too.

10. Flying. Most important part of me. I have my pilot licence, and can fly anywhere in NZ I want to. I can take my friends places for golf, fun or work. I love the flying environment. Pilots are awesome people who are adventurous, fun and hardworking at the same time. They are highly educated with a grounding sense of responsibility. If they stuff it up, people die. So they are to be respected.

11. InteriorDesign. This sounds gay, but I love designing interiors, and looking through real estate listings. I have a real passion for property, and it's my 'exit strategy'. I plan on becoming a property investor. Not only that, but I haven't yet made my perfect house or apartment plans . It's a work in progress. Check out 'urbis' magazine, or 'www.propertypress.co.nz' to see what I mean.

That's a good start to knowing ME. If I think of anything more later, i'll be sure to update!

another rambling

2006-02-23T12:13:00.000+08:00

what a beautiful day. the sun is shining and the weather is clear and warm. I'm stuck inside working, but not for much longer. I can't wait to shed these hot working clothes and get into my shorts and a comfortable t-shirt.

I am having a little difficulty trying to work out my finances. I need to go to the UK in Sept for my best mates wedding - I'm his best man; and we have some friends in KL who we want to visit and spend a couple of days with. What a pain. I can't generate enough cash with this business.
It seems like the town I'm in follows different rules when it comes to spending habits (or is it just another small town with small town people!?) and they simply refuse to spend money on quality. Basically they want the same quality and services as those city-folks, but only want to spend roughly 1/10th the money for it. I have spent the last 2.5 years trying to figure a way around this quandry to no avail. I am on the point of giving up. NZ is looking INCREDIBLY enticing. Not so much for business, but just general living standards and people-quality.

One minute i'm enjoying myself and the next WHAM it's a shitter. I spend half my energy trying to control myself and see the 'bright sides' of the situation. I succeed, but boy, I'm tired after. It's hard work controlling yourself! Especially when others seem to do it effortlessly... bugger them. THEN they have the audacity to make you feel like a 12 year old for working hard to control yourself! But in the end, they know less than I do, and are living the easy life. When the 'real world' knocks, you can bet your boots they'll cave in. HAHAHAHAHA.

Ok, thats enough, this blog is getting me mad and evil. It was supposed to give me an outlet, but instead has let out the dark side!

Have a nice day

I know, I know

2006-02-21T11:13:00.000+08:00

I know. I am a naughty boy. My blog is very insensitive. Sorry. I just have a habit of stating what I see without censorship.

I am a breath of fresh air.

Go the All Blacks.

Down with the Aussies.

Up yours Samy Vellu et al in the government who got there fraudulently, and is still there corruptibly.

Where's the damn common sense in Malaysia? Does ANYONE have any left???

I love Auckland radio. I am fed up with Malaysian radio.

I need a beer.

Need to bring back proportional representation in local Councils in Malaysia. The level of corruption boggles my mind. It's sooooo obvious; they have no class. They could at least try to hide it better!

Have a nice day.

I can't help but feel sorry for them...

2006-02-21T10:52:00.000+08:00

I don't know what the hell Malaysia teaches its students at school. I really am perplexed. I am spending my valuable time going over basics with them, and not covering important skills which, frankly, will be VITAL for them at University.

Not many of my students read. In fact, the situation is deplorable. How on earth is Malaysia supposed to develop if its citizens are mindless morons??? I don't mean to insult the travelled, educated and open-minded minority, but they will no doubt agree. I find it on one hand a great opportunity for me to educate 'clean' slates, but on the other hand find it completely frustrating.

My feelings are so strong because I feel a growing affection for Malaysia. I really do. But it is tinged with a realisation that one day I most definitely will leave, and due in no small amount to the fact that left alone, the country will inexorably slide down the slippery slope of 'no-hoper-ness'. I am left with little doubt that it is the chinese citizens of malaysia who are the driving force behind Her development, and if they are to be given the kind of vile, crass, underhanded treatment they have put up with forever, they will surely leave and take their hard-earned cash with them.

Left alone, I really don't believe there are enough open-minded and educated Malays to sustain the growth perpetuated by the minority chinese. Sorry to my Malay friends, and I count you as the educated ones as I have had the pleasure to converse with you and learn from you, but I am not trying to insult. I am saying it like it is (a vastly missing commodity in Malaysia today).

My poor wife (of chinese descent) will no doubt harange me about this preamble, but it IS my blog, and as named, is for my ramblings. So there.

Have a nice day

First ramble

2006-02-20T16:18:00.000+08:00

where do I begin? so much to say, and not sure how to start.

About 3 days ago, I made a friend online. How gauche. But to my chagrin, it was astonishingly easy. I thought only geeks, dorks or losers made friends online. Even though I still find it a bit dodgy, I was pleasantly surprised. His name is Jordan Macvey, and a friendlier fellow I haven't met in some time. He's from Canada, is a Muslim convert (not that that matters really...), and is living with his Malay wife in dirty old China. He's the head of the Foreign Languages Dept at a local school/college/university there. Not sure of the latter. He's a damn nice bloke to be stuck there if you ask me. Then again, everyone has the opposite sort of 'yellow fever' the west was so scared of all those years ago. Nowadays, everyone is jumping through hoops to please them, and before it was napalm. Not the chinese, but we White people like to lump everyone together... makes generalising much easier!
Not that Jordan is trying to please them. He's getting to the point where he's 'been there, done that', and looking forward to leaving. So good luck to you Jordan, and let me know if I can do anything to expedite that departure!

So there you have it. My first online buddy. Well done, pat on the back, but don't make a habit of it. There are appearances to keep up. We didn't become this civilised only to ruin it with this sort of carry on...

First, I'd like to thank ChiwiGal...

2006-02-20T15:52:00.000+08:00

Here I go. I'm doing the blogging thing. I am not sure why I'm doing this, but it looks like it could be fun - or a headache. I'll let you know which.
Dee's been so kind as to give me a blog site. Now I only have to fill it in with stuff people I don't know might find interesting to read!
Nope, I won't bother with that. It's for my friends and family only to judge my literary asperations.
Have a nice day.

Happy Valentines Day!

2006-02-14T16:44:00.000+08:00

This Is my Valentines Present to you my dear hubby..

1, So that you have someone to listen to you when no-one else is.
2, It's a great way for you to remember what you've said, felt, and experience!

So.. Happy Valentines!!
ChiwiGal